


where we go

by jedijarmarcal



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Doomed Timelines, F/M, Hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 12:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14308746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedijarmarcal/pseuds/jedijarmarcal
Summary: Cassian's POV during the last moments of his and Jyn's lives after they complete their mission on Scarif to help save the galaxy.





	where we go

**Author's Note:**

> There's something magical about this moment that I had to explore.
> 
> Inspiration: Claire de Lune by Flight Facilities

* * *

* * *

 

“Do you think anybody’s listening?”  
  
  
For the first time since joining the Rebellion, Cassian is the one questioning, and it would have unsettled him if not for the weight of Jyn’s body tucked into his side, holding him up.  
  
  
“I do.” Her smile is so reassuring in spite of her apparent exhaustion, that he accepts that they won- that Rogue One just might have saved the entire galaxy. “Someone’s out there.”  
  
  
It’s a struggle to walk, but he’s made it this far, so he continues on, his eyes on the sky as Jyn’s conviction carries him onward.   
  


As they exit the catwalk reach the building, Jyn all but slams the control panel, and they both fall forward into the lift, stumbling to the nearest wall like a pair of newborn tauntauns. The silence around them is so still compared to what they’d just survived, and for Cassian it’s like they stepped into a pocket of space where time and reality couldn’t reach- a singularity of sorts.  
  


_Someone’s out there._  
  


Her words dance in his skull, intermingling with the pride and hope that she’s brought to him in such a short amount of time, and it all feels so worth it.  
  


When lift door closes, and Cassian feels duty slip off of his shoulders, something he’d never been able to do with his flight jacket. Shadows filter over Jyn’s face, but she’s so clear in front of him. A feeling of calm seeps through him, and the pain from his injuries become an afterthought.  
  
  


There’s a roaring in his ears that settles in as all of his focus zeroes in on the way her eyes never leave his. She’s studying him like it’s the first time she’s ever truly seen him, but the soft smile brushing up the corner of her lips has a touch of familiarity- as if they’d been in this very position so many times before- and Cassian swallows a lump that settles with a tumbling thud somewhere in his gut at the notion. How does one reconcile such a notion?  
  


She’s so close to him, and this was not the time to celebrate the success of the Rebellion, not when this day they had danced with death and yet wound up in each other’s embrace. The symbolism was apparent, and instead of dwelling on what exactly was happening, he lives a little like Jyn and puts himself first.  
  
  
It’s a glorious sight, the contour of her face, filtered sunlight flaring to life in her eyes, lips parted as if the words are falling short for her too.  
  


The only thing he is aware of besides her face is her arm still curved around his shoulder, her fingers brushing against the nape of his neck. If anything, he leans closer, barely unable to keep himself upright but determined to let this moment live. The possibility of kissing her crosses his mind, but he casts the notion away; this felt more profound than  anything their bodies could make him feel.  
  


A lifetime passes on the way to ground, and it’s Jyn that pulls away first to get a more secure grip on him as the doors open. As soft sand replaces the metal of the lift floor and they are bathed in golden yellow light, it takes Cassian a moment to realize it is not the setting sun that he sees on the horizon. Jyn’s hand tightens ever so slightly on his wrist, and a zing of fear quickens his heartbeat ever so slightly.  
  


_So this was death?_

  
Out of the corner of his eye he sees her swallow hard as they come to a stop and all but collapse to the floor. For the briefest of moments they forget about each other, each taking the time to accept their mortality, but he is aware of her hand still on his knee, and it’s comforting.  
  


The fear racing through him shatters the peace of the elevator ride, and even though he’d accepted death as a possibility many years ago, he had always thought it’d be in the height of battle: here one moment, gone the next. It felt surreal to see it coming.  
  


But… there was still enough time.  
  


At the same time, they turn to each other. She looks alarmed, like she never really thought about it- and maybe she hadn’t, this girl they plucked from the stars and told to fight their war, so he says the only thing he knew would give her comfort as the explosion raced towards them.  
  


“Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn.”  
  


Her name is his, he claims it, makes it his, makes _her_ his as he takes her sunlight eyes in for the last time. Jyn smiles, and had he really felt like a lifetime had passed before? It wasn’t enough time! Then her hand is in his, and Cassian feels the eternity of possibility looming between them and their killer shrink with each heartbeat. He squeezes her hand, _it’s okay._  
  


Together, they look to the horizon one last time and then back to each other. It’s an act of defiance, a continuation of their whole time together. It’s not enough to shake the fear though, and with one last look at her, he wraps his arms around her, holds her tight to him. He imagines her eyes golden, vibrant, _alive_ , then steels himself, wants to tell her something, wants to scream, wants to run, but instead grips her tight as he feels a burst of panic because _this is it,_ everything is white and glowing, and then there’s so much heat, he wonders if -  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing rebelcaptain, so comments are appreciated!


End file.
